Words

from Dan Reicher,
Cousin

Music:
Cantata No.147: Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring
Johann Sebastian Bach

Greetings everyone. Thank you for coming.

I’m Dan Reicher, Cassia’s cousin.

Peter and Cassia asked me to officiate at this memorial service for Luca.

Let me first thank Barbara and Peter Winkelstein - my aunt and uncle - for hosting us today at their beautiful home which holds so many wonderful memories for many of us gathered here today. Thanks to both of you.

Second, I want to thank Tom and Mary Reicher—my brother and sister-in-law—for the beautiful music we hear today.

And let me also thank the many—too numerous to name—who helped organize this gathering:
- The hundreds of e-mails
- The beautiful flowers
- The wonderful food
- The photography
- The baby-sitting
- The memory book

We are gathered to mourn Luca’s passing and to comfort Peter and Cassia; Cassia’s father Jon, sister Nel, husband George and brother Jared; Peter’s parents Sharon and Tony and his brothers Brian, Michael, and wife Jean; and so many others touched by the loss of this beautiful little boy.

But there is another reason we are gathered today. In speaking with Cassia she emphasized that she wanted to help Asher in some way remember his brother Luca. Thus we are here to record a moment in time that Asher can appreciate when he is older, and thereby come to terms with a brother who he entered the world with but won’t grow up with.

In his book '“Tuesdays with Morrie” Mitch Albom writes that ‘death is the end of life but not of relationships’. More than anything else, I hope what Asher will come to appreciate from today is the wonderful web of relationships that bind him to so many family and friends who came from far and wide to mourn his brother’s passing.

I understand the meaning of brotherhood; I have three including Tom who is here today. Tom ran me through my paces as a child and is a great friend and advisor today. And I am now watching my two little boys—Will and Graham—play and wrestle and laugh their way through their early years --with some tough love provided by their big sister Haley.

Asher will miss this brotherly partnership with Luca and will have to grapple with the loss of his twin when he is older. But with his wonderful mom and dad, siblings to come, and the splendid tangle of family and friends to guide him, I know he will grow up strong.

Today we record this moment for Asher in several ways:
- A memory book
- A photo album
- A video recording
- The remarks of family and friends which we will hear shortly
- And in the memories of all of you, to share with Asher when he is older.

I also want to note the tiny sprigs of jasmine that we are wearing today. A couple of days ago Cassia wrote that she was looking at the tree in her yard and noticed that it had sprouted two beautiful buds—just two. She went on to say, “I know I am full of grief and milk and hormones, but they looked so beautiful” and made me think that it might be nice to honour Luca and his brother and spring and babies and renewal as well as provide some community and continuity to have a basket of tiny sprigs of flowers or greenery that guests can pin on. So we have for Luca and Asher, and for Cassia and Peter, with flowers from the garden of their home.

And of course I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the proliferation of chocolate here today, a not so secret love of Cassia’s. A cookbook I happened across the other day, called “Over a Tuscan Stove”, that said ‘next funeral you go to, leave the baked ham, Jello salad, macaroni and cheese and the lasagne at home. Bring something chocolate.’ As in so many things, Cassia is wise beyond her years. She knows that in the darkest of moments, chocolate—the darker the better—can bring a smile. I encourage everyone to indulge.

And also please note the strawberries. Peter brought Cassia a quart every day during her pregnancy. They go well with chocolate.

With that, we will now hear from Luca’s family ...

Dan

(Words spoken at Luca Holstein Albers’ memorial service, 21 March 2008.)